Week 11 recaps...better late than never.

Happy Thanksgiving (from Deadspin)

Well, thanksgiving was a interesting for me.  My dad came in town, and we went to hang at katie's family's house (extended family...not inlaws).  However, the person hosting thanksgiving doesn't drink, and doesn't have alcohol in their home.  That's not a huge deal for me or katie, but my wine sucking dad was not happy.  After bitching the entire day before Thanksgiving, once we got into the house, he basically stared off into space, and wondered aloud when we could leave and drink wine.  Whiteford came to thanksgiving with us; he can vouch for this. At one point, my dad awkwardly stared at Whiteford for a while and said, "don't worry, I'm not coming onto you.".  Then he settled back into not interacting with others.  I'm also pretty sure he was eye fucking the shit out of whiteford's wife.  What a great thanksgiving.
The moral of this story:  don't let my dad into your house without wine or Jim Beam around.

Week 11 recaps:
Manning and me  155.2     Dr. Teeth  124.5 (recap by commish)
Holy fucking shit.  Beb had an amazing week.  Since beb is currently in Malaysia balls deep into his new wife, I'm pretty sure we can attribute this win to Jenni's poon.  I've always suspected that she had a fantasy powerhouse hiding behind her knickers; this is all the proof I need.  Where to start?  Beb had 3 guys go over 20 (Ryan fitz, bowe, santonio) and four more over 10 (burner, woodhead, wayne, and marcedes).  Jesus.  What an epic week.  Sovic wasn't a slouch either.  MJD and Rivers matched beb's highest scores, and other sovic coached players did fairly well (as his 122 total points can attest).  However, with Boldin only getting 0.9, it wasn't going to be enough to match up with Beb's players and Jenni's box.  Congrats, beb. 

Team Pussy  126.2    Nude Tayne  119.4 (recap by commish)
I was so excited for this recap.  It was exciting and high scoring...I was getting tingles!  Dekker came out on top, and my mouth was watering for a good old fashioned whiteford skewering.  Alas, it wasn't going to happen.  Dekker texted me that he was busy with thanksgiving (understandable), and didn't have time to write  it up.  However, he did convey this: "just be sure to tell whiteford he put up a good effort and there's still time to jump aboard the Pussy Wagon as it rolls into the playoffs."  Well played, sir.  


Steuberleague  126.5      Londen's Lackey's 119.8 (recap by steuber)
Another typical game for Ste uberleague - an opponent putting up over 100 pts. But wait, somehow Ste uberleague came out on top of this match-up while proudly holding onto the "most points against" position.  Bidet vs Steubet, east vs west; a lot was was riding on this match.  The best coast came out on top with SoCal's finest, dirty Sanchez, proving to be the difference maker vs Bidet's OP, Tom Brady. All other positions were pretty much equal including strong QB & RB performances, mediocre WR play, and crappy D and TE contributions. Anyone want Brees and Moreno for their 1st rd draft pick next yr? (commish note:  are we trading draft picks?)


Return of Terry Tate 104    Fat Wolverine  90.2  (recap by xadam)

Suck it Will!  Suck it long, and suck it hard!  Your little team may perform well against others, but you forgot one thing: Defense wins championships, and my defense has been stellar all season.  Having by far the lowest Points Against, and the only team under 1000 PA, teams just cant score against me, and yours was no different.  Even the "best receiver in the league" was only able to gain a measly 3.2 points.  And to further my argument, only your Bears defense was able to put up a strong showing by shutting out the Miami 3rd string Dolphins.  But it was the Baltimore D (god damn right!) that was able to put the nail in the coffin with 2, yes TWO gratuitous interceptions for touchdowns at the end of the game that they were already dominating.  This week I move to #2.  Next week I plan to tie your record as I shut out the otherwise frightening Rodgers/Vick super QB combo of Pussies.

Hoosgow 95.2    Hung like Blag 78 (recap by sexy Joe)

Hoosgow won big, again, denying the uberworld a chance to read a witty summary by HLBJ.  In the spirit of the season, here is a list of what Hoosgow is thankful for, in reverse order: 

10.  That Dekker made a drafting mistake - otherwise Hoosgow was screwed.

9.  That the non-UVA people admitted to the uberleague are Terrapins who suck and not Hokies who strangely often don't suck.

8.  That the Giants won the Series, and beat the Phillies and Braves (retiring Bobby Cox!) along the way.

7.  That Beb and Jenni registered for a wedding haiku and no one else got it for them.

6.  That the Commish's uber-dreams turn to dust every single year.

5.  That Tottenham is having a great European campaign.

4.  That the Dois was late for the draft, allowing Hoosgow to perform some research.

3.  For Dirk Kuyt (Dekker knows what I mean).

2.  That fantasy football is a game of chance.

1.  That the Boys on Boats are the worst team in the league! 

Good luck in week 12.

Week 10 recaps

The last of the bye weeks are over, so all the people who don't enjoy managing their team with the free agent auction system can chill the fuck out (as evidenced by the quiet bidding this week).  On to the recaps...I feel I have to say something about my matchup with viche, even though his writeup is outstanding (the first one below).    Going into Monday night, I was down almost 27 pts, and I only had one more guy to play.  Sovic had absolutely creamed me, and I really didn't give myself much of a chance.  Then, first play of the eagles/skins was a HUGE Vick to Desean 88 yd. td bomb.  I got 15 pts back right there.  Then...desean disappeared for the rest of the game, despite Vick throwing 18 more td's...and my win disappeared as well.  Congrats viche.  I guess I can't be too pissed if I scored 120.5 pts.
And congrats to beb for finally getting married.  Dois, Sovic and I had a fucking blast.  Here are some random pictures from my phone from pre-wedding shit.

Reliving pledge days at the rehearsal dinner...

Some nerdy beb/jenni wedding equations...

...which were eventually simplified to be sexual in nature.

Recaps after the jump...

Week 9 recaps

Well, the big day is here.  Beb Bernier is getting married...finally.  He waited quite a while to pop the question (which I'm sure we'll hear quite a bit about in Jenni's family's toasts).  It's understandable: Jenni is incredibly hot, incredibly smart (phd in bio engineering or some shit), and has an incredible personality (she used to MC rollerderby...awesome).  We kept telling him to lock that down before she wised up.  Eventually, he did, so these writeups are dedicated to Saturday night, when both of them have sex for the first time (in the ass).
Recaps after the jump...

Week 8 recaps

This past weekend was the inaugural Shoaf Halloween party.  Good times.  Beb came as Unfozen Caveman Lawyer, which I thought was amazing (even though he went around the party telling people how dumb his costume was and he should have tried harder).  This doesn't really have anything to do with the writeups...just wanted to honor beb on the 10 day countdown to his wedding.  Other Halloween pics can be found here:
Halloween 2010


More importantly, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!  Blick has won a game.  This actually surprised me more than the Vikings waiving Mr. Randy less than a month after giving up a 3rd round pick for him.  I'm sure you've all heard the story by now, but god, Randy Moss is a fucking horrible human.  For those of you that missed the intricacies of the story, you can find them here.   Also, in nba news, Kevin Garnett apparently called Charlie Villanueva a "cancer patient" during a game the other day (CV suffers from alopecia...and doesn't have any hair).  Some athletes are just awful and insensitive to how real humans behave.  However, I still reserve the right to name my nba team the Browless Wonders after CV...I'm honoring him.    
After the jump, you'll find the owner submissions for recaps.  All recaps are written by the week 8 winners.  I'll let them speak for themselves, but I'd love to hear your opinion on it in the recaps.