Pitchman 111 Caesar Live Here? 61
Even though Whiteford and Dekker have barely hung out (ever), this is possibly the most hated rivalry we have in Uber. I was hoping for a tight game with an exciting finish. Instead, Dekker shit the futon (I'm bringing this phrase back). Other than AD with 38, whiteford didn't have an outstanding day (but 19 from Hasselback was a pleasant surprise). But, with the putrid stink emanating from Dekker's squad, he didn't need much. Dekker did get 20 from Santonio and 15 from Peyton, but the rest of his team was garbage. Combined score from Forte and Fast Willie: 6 pts. Fantastic.
Who dat Ninja 107 I am Milton Waddams 93
God, this rivalry is lame. But, the game was exciting. Blick's autodrafted team had a solid day (romo 27, Roy W. 14, Gore 16, Tony G 13). Lenny's team did okay as well, but when John Carleson (21 fucking pts!) is your highest scorer, you usually lose. On a side note, Blick is getting married this Saturday (and then I imagine he's going on a honeymoon), so he probably won't be checking his team for a while. I guess autoplay naturally follows autodraft. Congratulations anyway (seriously, good luck this weekend).
Bromantic Ballsquad 94 I am worse than Ezra 71
Poor, poor Larson. I just feel bad for him. I mean, he's led a rough life. He went to a great college, got a great job after college, then went to law school. He's always dated hot girls, and then he married one in a castle in Europe. He also juggles fire. Adding insult to injury, Steuber gave him an epic beatdown in rivaly week. Don't' worry, Larson, the breaks will go your way eventually. Steuber, you got great weeks from Reggie Wayne, Vjax, Deangelo, and Ryan Grant. congrats. I'm just glad I don't have to look at a picture of poop anymore when I check out your team (I'm glad you laid Chapupa to rest).
Fire Al Groh 104 Suddenly Tulsa 82
Bardey won, Drew brees scored 37, his team was better than sovic's, blah, blah, blah. I need to use this space to describe Sovic's epic blog post about our other league (bifl). Sovic (because he's unemployed with lots of free time) did research on each team's record against every other team in the league (I believe the history goes back 5 years or so). Then he analyzed trends, streaks, inadvertent rivalries, etc. It was fucking amazing. I would love to say that the only reason I don't plan on doing this for uber is because our history is all fucked up (because of site changes), but in reality, i could never put together a post like that...and it makes me sad. If you like reading posts about football leagues you're not involved in, check it out.
White Mamba 88 Hoosgow 35
oh...my...god. Joe, you know I love you. You send me cute videos of your son Thomas, and I love watching them. Normalinda is an amazing woman, and you two are awesome for each other. If I was ever stranded somewhere and needed a corporate lawyer, I'd know you would be there for me. But...you suck at fantasy football. I'm not sure why (lack of research and dedication). I mean, you were the fucking champ one year (which was lucky as shit). Hopefully, the breaks will start going your way (if you learn how to change players on your roster). Trey, great days from TJ, Randy, and Aaron. Congrats on the win. However, what are you doing right now in LA? I received an email in which you stated you were "in a fellowship," but you offered no other details. What the hell does that mean? I imagine you are in a grad school type environment, but I'm not ruling out the possibility that you became a man of God. Fill us in.
Death Becomes Her 102 Try my Product 66
I won; beb lost. I'm happy because of it. Beb, maybe you'll give us a little writeup in the comment section. I don't like to masturbate in front of the entire group.
High Scorer of the week: Whiteford (111...courtesy of AD)
Low Scorer of the week: you fucking know who it is.
Good luck in week 2.
7 comments:
willy, i appreciate the shout-out and the compliments, but if there's one page you shouldn't take from my book, it's complaining that this is a worthless enterprise. "I think week 1 writeups are dumb..."? come on. we do this shit because we enjoy it, and acting like we don't is silly. i always hate myself the day after i've posted where i complain about nobody reading or responding, or saying that it's all no use because of this or that. it's of use because we're nerds, and it's fucking fun to delve in to the geekiest stuff imaginable because we're establishing a sort of mythology with our friends. it's fun when it's fantasy football, it's fun when it's reliving frathouse memories, it's fun when you're bringing up shit that only one or two other people are gonna get. let's keep doing this nerdy shit forever. love, sovic.
i was shocked when i saw that sovic's reply was sent at 8:35 pm. but then i realized that i think this blog always gives me pacific time zone timestamps. 11:35 seems a much more reasonable time for sovic to be in a state of mind to come up with that incredible defense of what has become the only meaning in his life these days.
if it really was 8:35, well, that's cool too.
ok i was right, cause i was not awake and posting that shit at 4:22 AM.
man, seems like only a few years ago that all we could do was drunk-call each other. now we can drunk-text, drunk-chat, and yes, drunk-blog-comment. even i can't really figure out what the fuck i was trying to say there. but i would wear a t-shirt with the phrase "let's keep doing this nerdy shit forever" on it.
If you get the shirts made, I want one. I wear an XL.
So...after I ripped Joe, it looks like he's going to beat my in Uber behind his Schaub/Johnson combo. Insane...but I deserve it.
Big Cat - have you won a fantasy football championship yet in any league?
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