Week 5--the beginning

So, it's Sunday night. I'm watching the phils playoff game, which started at an insane 10:07 Eastern time. That's just retarded. I'm going to go ahead and get a head start on the writeups

Pitchman (more than 111) Death becomes her (98)

Fuck you, Whiteford. My best week of the season, and I have to face you. You have 111...and still have two more guys to play on Monday night. You had insane days from Hasselback (27), Winslow (23) and the Vikings D (20)...and AP only got you 18. I think it's safe to say you're going to be the high scorer of the week. I'm fairly happy with my performance; I would have beaten most teams this week. Donovan had 25 (great to have him back), and Fitz (19), Portis (18), and Hightower (10) all had respectable days. But...I'm fucking 1-4. I hate uber fantasy. Sovic, I look forward to your analysis of commishes being shitty as hell in the leagues they run. I believe it has historical precedent. Whiteford, you improved to 3-2. Congrats (but you should still be worried about Paraguayan independence day...I'm not kidding about that shit).

Hoosgow (more than 80) smoke yourself thin (more than 30)

Holy shit. Sovic is having an epic day of horrible fantasy. Kenny Britt still has a quarter to play, but sovic's high scorer is Kevin Smith...with 9 fucking points. That's right...NO ONE in double figures. Calvin Johnson, Desean Jackson, and Chris Cooley contributed 0 pts each. I know johnson got hurt, but I'm pretty sure desean and cooley played. I'm not sure why desean put up a goose egg, but Cooley's shitty day probably has something to do with that fact that he plays for the redskins. I hear Snyder called Shanahan. Get Zorn the fuck out of there. Joe, you had a below average, not very memorable day. Schaub (21) and AJ (23) carried your team again, but there's not much else to talk about. congrats on the win. Sovic falls to 2-3, while Joe improves to 2-3.

I am Milton Waddams 90 Bromantic Ballsquad (a little more than 67)

I'm calling this one for Lenny. Steuber still has 3 guys with a little less than a quarter remaining, but I think the 23 pt lead is safe. Steuber, you had average days from eli (14) and reggie wayne (10 and counting), and Tashard Choice chipped in 15. But you couldn't match Roddy White's saucesplosion of 36 nor Ben Raweoiffasfdijasburger's solid 21. Lenny, thanks for the email earlier. I'm glad the memories of arrest were fond ones that I could rehash for you. Steuber, still waiting to hear about Carol Simpson (I don't think he reads these posts...).

The rest of the games:

I think Larson will hold and beat Blick, but I'm not sure. Blick actually had a pretty good day, considering he didn't play a kicker, and he might have 2 dnp's.

I think beb's going to hold on and beat dekker (he's up 10 with less than a quarter to go in the sunday night game...and then both teams are finished).

Bardey's going to need about 14 or so points from the Jets defense on Monday night to beat Trey...but I don't think it's going to happen (now that Chris Johnson has shit the futon).

Here's what I know for sure: if beb holds on, I'll be in sole ownership of last place (where I fucking belong). Also, if bardey loses, Trey will have a share of first place. That hurts.

I'll update the rest later in the week.

Fuck, phillies are losing 3-1.